PARENTING

                             PARENTING

The development and well-being of a child are greatly influenced by parenting. The cornerstone for a child's emotional, social, and cognitive growth is the bond between parents and their kids.

To raise children who are self-assured and autonomous adults, good parents provide love, support, and guidance. Nonetheless, poor parenting can hinder a child's growth and cause a variety of issues throughout their lives.

Poor parenting can cause emotional and behavioural problems in children, make it harder for them to build good connections, and hinder their chances of academic and future success. Here are a few detrimental outcomes of poor parenting and how they may affect a child's general wellbeing.

1. Low sense of worth

Children with poor parenting frequently lack self-worth, confidence, and self-esteem. Their capacity to establish satisfying relationships, perform well at work or school, and manage stress all may be impacted by this.

2. Behavioral Issues

Only a few instances of the problematic behaviour that children with bad parenting may exhibit include aggression, disobedience, and criminality. This could lead to legal issues as well as social and academic issues.

3. The academic achievement of children can be impacted by poor parenting. Youngsters with low self-esteem and emotional problems may find it difficult to focus and study, which can lead to subpar academic performance.

4. Inability to Develop Healthy Relationships: Your children may lack the emotional maturity or social abilities necessary to establish healthy relationships. Poor parenting may make it more challenging for kids to form good connections in the future.

5. Not Trusting:

Because they may not have had trustworthy caretakers during their development, a child who experienced poor parenting may find it difficult to trust others.

6. Abuse of Drugs:

Young people are more likely to abuse drugs or alcohol because they may do so as a coping method for emotional or behavioural issues.

7. Physical Health Problems:

Children who encounter bad parenting may be more prone to develop physical health problems because they may not have received the right diet or medical care and may engage in dangerous behaviours that harm their health.

8. Children who struggle with emotional regulation may experience mood swings, depression, anxiety, and other mental health problems.

When nothing seems to be going your way and you've run out of patience, it's simple to feel that your parenting abilities are subpar.

Yet, it's a good indication that you're not actually a horrible parent if you're worried about whether you're choosing the best parenting strategies for your children.

Every decision we make might seem momentous at times, and every error seems important. Particularly when it comes to unfavourable encounters with our children, we are concerned about the long-term implications of our decisions.

We agonise over whether we yelled at them too harshly, if we could have handled that tantrum better, or if we applied the right punishments.

But all parents experience those times when they lose their composure. We've all made less-than-ideal parenting decisions while we were angry or confused.

To assist explain what is genuinely cause for concern, we asked two mental health professionals to give advice on how to recognise the symptoms of what we'll refer to as "poor parenting" and the impact it may have on a child.

What is poor parenting?

Some things are universally regarded as "bad" by all people.

Most of us associate poor parenting with the most severe and harmful behaviour traits—physical abuse, neglect, emotional abuse, and sexual abuse. These are issues that need to be resolved right now with expert assistance.

Beyond child abuse and neglect, however, there are other actions or words that parents may employ that might unintentionally harm a child. Being aware of whether you're engaging in those behaviours can improve your parenting confidence.

It's not always simple to evaluate your parenting approach honestly. It's crucial to initially distinguish between the behaviour and the individual for this reason.

If you disagree with someone's beliefs or parenting approach, don't immediately label them as a "bad parent" or yourself. It's also critical to understand the distinction between having a terrible day and being a bad parent.

It's not the same thing to tell your child, "I'm smart, and you're dumb," or "I'm right, and you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it." to lose your temper occasionally.

Most parents exhibit both positive and negative parenting behaviours, despite the fact that some individuals disagree about what constitutes "good" or "poor" parenting.

What indicate poor parenting?

When you think about the extremes, it's simple to identify parenting practises that are less than ideal.

Involved too much or not enough

On one extreme, there is the inattentive, absent-minded parent who does not attend to their child's needs beyond the bare minimum of clothing, food, and shelter.

Although less harmful than a negligent approach, an overly active parent (sometimes known as a "helicopter parent") can nonetheless do more harm than good by making all the decisions and providing excessive care for their child, preventing them from learning through experience.

No or little discipline

Children who receive little to no discipline are left to fend for themselves, which can lead to injuries and also produce a child who does not comprehend limits, claims Sharron Frederick, LCSW, a psychotherapist at Clarity Health Solutions.

Youngsters look to parents to clarify limits and the repercussions that may result from crossing them, according to her.

rigorous or strict discipline

Frederick claims that parents who practise strict or rigid discipline (also known as authoritarian parenting) prevent their child from exploring the outside world, which frequently results in a child who becomes fearful, anxious, or rebellious. This is in contrast to parents who enforce little to no discipline.

Withholding compassion and focus

Frederick claims that ignoring a child is the same as telling them that your love is conditional. Similar harm results from withholding affection from a youngster because they disobey parental instructions.

She claims that these behaviours might lead to a child's low self-esteem and lack of confidence, which can prevent them from expressing their wishes and needs.

According to Frederick, this might eventually result in co-dependency, in which the child begins to behave how they believe someone else wants them to. This frequently results in abusive relationships, she continues.

Shaming Children who are consistently chastised, whether in public or privately, may struggle with perfectionism and experience a fear of failing. This could result in depression or anxiety.

What consequences result from poor parenting?

Without supportive parenting, kids are more likely to experience problems in their personal relationships, as well as aggression, despair, and anxiety.

The consequences of persistently bad conduct patterns are listed below. There is a difference between that one incident when you yelled at your child for shattering your beloved coffee mug and a practise of persistent criticism or physical abuse.

A negative view of oneself

Overusing derogatory terms and shaming children is a parenting error that can have long-lasting effects.

According to psychotherapist Dana Dorfman, PhD, "repeated use of negative labels, such as name-calling, severely effects a child's sense of self and contributes to persistently negative self-narratives and self-fulfilling prophesies.

Shame, according to her, is a potent and debilitating feeling that permanently alters one's identity and sense of self. Due to its power, Dorfman claims that many people—including parents—create it in order to discourage bad behaviour or inspire good behaviour.

Dorfman asserts that when shame and derogatory labels are used frequently, kids start internalising and acting out these messages.

They learn to talk to themselves in the same way they have been spoken to, which leads to their maintaining their negative emotions and developing severe self-criticism, according to her.

Those who have low self-esteem tend to look for partnerships that will support the messages they have been exposed to.

Rebellion and challenges with control

According to Frederick, children who are subjected to too rigorous or rigid discipline may have problems with controlling others, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and other worrisome tendencies, along with the belief that the world is hazardous.

The rebellious youngster, on the other extreme of the scale, argues with their parents, disobeys the law, and behaves badly.

behavioural and emotional issues

According to a 2014 studyTrusted Source, harsh parenting, which includes verbal or physical threats, frequent yelling, and hitting, along with immediate negative consequences for a particular behaviour, can cause children to have emotional and behavioural issues, including aggression and following directions at school.

How do you put a halt to poor parenting?

Although poor parenting practises can put kids at danger, they are not the only thing that affects outcomes.

Children who suffer with behavioural or emotional problems can have parents, even those that use a positive approach to discipline and contact. Doing your best as a parent doesn't guarantee that your child will never experience difficulties or challenges, just as having one poor day doesn't make you a horrible parent. That's fine too.

Parenting is a never-ending task that is frequently difficult. It could seem especially harder if you have struggled as a result of your own parents' less-than-ideal examples. Yet, you can make an effort to go past the unfavourable lessons you were given and create a positive relationship with your own kids.

Even if your own parents weren't great examples, you can still find support and inspiration from other parents to forge your own parenting path.

Remind yourself that you can make adjustments if you notice that you have negative parenting practises more frequently than you'd want.

Your parenting style may need to be revamped, which may take a lot of hard work, honesty, and patience. The good thing is that you can start at any time. Your child can benefit from any constructive adjustment you make. Here are some suggestions to help you concentrate on the good.

Pay attention to your child's ideas and emotions.

Everyone desires to be heard. Frederick asserts that we all require someone to listen to us, even when we do not always agree with what other people have to say.

She advises listening to your children's worries and frustrations, validating their emotions, and explaining that they have a right to be angry but should not act out (like throwing their crayons across the room). Instead, offer substitutes.

Give suitable consequences

Frederick stresses the need of employing consequences to teach your child a lesson when applying punishment. She claims that beating a child teaches them nothing about consequences and can lead to resentment and hostility, as well as the youngster assaulting other kids at school.

Use a rewards chart instead, or let them earn time by doing something they want. When taking something away, take it away for the afternoon rather than for a week. Make sure the punishment fits the conduct you're trying to fix.

Label the action, not the person.

Parents should name conduct rather than character if they wish to "label," advises Dorfman. Instead of telling a youngster, "You ARE a bully," when they are behaving out, for instance, just point out that what they are doing is typical of bullies.

Don't fail to pay attention.

We all get frustrated with our kids, but according to Frederick, ignoring them simply confuses them. Say that you are furious with them but that despite your anger, you still love them, she advises.

Put them in time out if you need a break—1 minute for each age—and take some time to gather your thoughts and feelings.

Express your affection and love

More than just telling your child you love them, you may show your youngster your love and affection. It also results from showing your child physical affection, loving and supporting them, and spending meaningful time with them.

Let them to make errors.

Let your kids to be creative and make errors since life is messy; do not shame or criticise them. What could you have done differently, ask your youngster after they make a mistake.

Show them via your own errors that learning never stops and that we all experience difficult days. Everyone benefits when someone makes an error, apologises, and works to fix it.

Takeaway

Parenting is a difficult emotional job. It's a significant responsibility that demands tolerance, perseverance, love, compassion, and understanding.

Everybody has days when they second-guess their parenting decisions. Because we adore our children so much, we naturally want what is best for them.

Keep in mind that you are learning as you go along and that each day is an opportunity to start over. We can all select the type of parent we want to be if we have the necessary resources and the ability to be patient with our kids and ourselves.

And keep in mind that we all require help at different times. Ask for assistance, direction, advice, and opinions from trusted friends, family members, coworkers, or mental health professionals if you're feeling stretched or too pressured.

The hardest job in the world is being a parent. Keep going; you can do it!